This Life: Looking Forward

Although it is a tad surreal that we’re in the final quarter of the year, I’m feeling ready for the next season to begin, come rain or shine. Summer was a bit of a blur for me personally, so I can’t wait to don my autumn ankle boots, wooly hat and walk into the new season, hot chocolate in hand.

Just to get the crap stuff out of the way, and to give some context as to why I’m looking forward so much to autumn, I had a seizure last month and it was the first in 16 years. It spooked me a lot but I’m feeling much more positive about it all now. The medication weirded me out for a while, plus the knowledge that epilepsy was still hanging out in my brain, along with a benign cyst, was quite overwhelming. 

I’ve learnt a lot since it all happened; mainly to prioritise my wellbeing and the welfare of those closest to me. I know when to say ‘no’ more, and when to stand up for myself and for others when needed. And I’ve also learnt not to write off a bad day/week/month because there is always good to be found in it.

I’ve realised all the internal ‘noise’, that comes from worrying about my parents and my health, is calmed and nurtured by doing mindful and creative tasks. I might not be much of a social butterfly at present, but I honestly don’t care. You’ll find me where I need to be right now and that’s in the patio garden, pottering before the first frost comes, making traybakes for weekend wanders with Polly and Ste, and spending time with loved ones. 

I’m doing morning/evening pages to kick-start a writing project, and I’m knitting again! I finished a scarf a couple of weeks ago using Rowan Big Wool (great for beginners) which I’ll share on the blog as soon as the weather warrants it. My next project is a blanket, which should keep me going till early winter. It’s the first time I’ve used circular knitting needles so I’m a tad scared but it’s just a knit and purl stitch so I should be ok.

I’ll see how I get on with this, then I might attempt knitting a V-neck jumper to partner with my layering necklaces c/o Daisy London. I love cosy knits and chic jewellery paired together, I just need to polish my ankle boots and I’ll have my autumn outfits sorted. I’ve seen a gorgeous pattern I like but it’s a big challenge for my amateur hands. Blanket first, Lisa. Blanket first. 

As well as all of my slow hobbies, I’m focusing on getting myself back in shape to help me sleep better. Lack of sleep for anyone is crap, but if I don’t get at least 6 hours I really struggle with my anxiety, and then potentially my epilepsy too. Exercise seems to be the only thing that helps me when I’m not sleeping well. 

Skincare has been important part of my self care too. I’ve been taking better care of my skin this year and it feels much healthier. I’m enjoying the ritual aspect of it, and feeling like I’m doing some good on days when I’m not feeling grand. It’s the simple stuff, I guess. I’ll do a post on some of my favourite products I’ve used this year, in case you’re needing some inspiration from a 39 year old lass.

Anyway, I’m not really sure where I’m going with this blog post, only to say that I’m beginning to feel more like myself again. I’m excited by books, putting words on paper, learning daily about the garden and making plans for the coming months.  Today I organised my office and opened a new diary (I bought this Circle organiser to help with my writing goals) and it feels so good to be looking forward again.