December 2018 Reflections
Best Day in 2018
Completing the Yorkshire Three Peaks Challenge in 10 hours in July. I did the challenge in 2017 too, but this year I, alongside by sister and brother in law, hiked 26 miles and three peaks (mountains sound more impressive) on one of the hottest days in summer. AND I beat my previous year’s time by over an hour. I’m very proud of that, and the funds we raised for Alzheimer’s Society too. It was a brilliant day that I’ll never forget.
Biggest Challenge in 2018
Health stuff. My dad’s health deteriorates day by day. Alzheimer’s is just a horrible and mean disease. I wish I could talk to him like I used to, and my mum for that matter, but we have a different relationship now. I’m thankful he’s still here and I’m grateful for moments when things feel like they used to, even only for a minute. My heart goes out to anyone who has loved ones that are suffering right now. Adulting is hard, isn’t it?
Today is…
My final day at work before the holidays! Well it’s actually my final half day, as I’ve been working my bottom off to get everything finished by 1pm so I can take Polly to the vets, do the Christmas food shop and clean the house from top to bottom.
My brilliant friends at AO.com saved the day and gifted* me a Cordless Vacuum Cleaner to help with quick tidy ups! It’s been so much easier to use than my plug in vacuum and ideal for tidying up dog hair and mud (the struggle is real). A fab vacuum for everyday cleaning. P.S You can read my product review via the website.
Traditions
Christmas has always been a special time of year for me. Even as I get older, and things get harder with health and family, I try to focus on lovely memories, creating new traditions and moving forward with my little family. All the crappy health stuff has made me appreciate days on this planet more. Over the past few weeks I’ve seen the Royal Ballet’s The Nutcracker with my sister, I’ve made Christmas wreaths with family, picked out a new decoration for the Christmas tree with Stephen and enjoyed choosing gifts for loved ones.
Christmas Eve will start with a long dog walk, then we’re off to watch It’s a Wonderful Life at the cinema with family, followed by drinks and singing carols in the square. Christmas Day will be spent just the three of us. I can’t wait.
I said goodbye
I took a break from roller derby back in summer due to my health. It was taking up too much space mentally and physically, and after 3 years I just need some time out to focus on the basics. I’ve not returned since, so I think it’s possibly the end of playing Roller Derby for me, but I do miss my teammates and my skates. Maybe one day I’ll don my Dolly Vicious vest once more.
2018 Taught Me
To really live the life that I have chosen.
To enjoy being childfree, and stop worrying what people think about that choice.
To not feel guilty about loving my work, and working from home too. It took years to find a job that I fully enjoyed. It took decades to finally not dread Mondays.
For too long I’ve felt that I don’t deserve good things, and that everything will come crashing down. The problem with that is you forget about the here and now. This year I’ve been better at celebrating my achievements, and I know now that I deserve to live the life I have chosen. Hurrah for that.
My wish for 2019
To concentrate and focus on one day at a time, and to truly live in the moment.
Wishing you and yours a very Merry Christmas, a restorative holiday and Happy 2019. See you on the flip-side, chums!
Disclosure: Collaborative Post
7 Comments
Shazza
Have a lovely Christmas and enjoy the good times. Skye looks a delight. Love to Polly too. X
Jan McCann
Take the time to have a good rest this Christmas! Your blog is always an inspiration. Best wishes for 2019 x
threesthemagicnumberKathryn
Loved this post. Well done you – on everything! And I’m very jealous of your visit to see the Nutcracker. Lots of love and happy new year, when I plan to pin you down to a coffee date soon xx
Kathryn
Loved this post. Well done, on everything! Here’s to 2019 when I hope to pin you down to a coffee date soon xx
Angela
I’ve just read this blog post and love your confidence in challenging others re. the children issue. I’m childfree but not by choice and the hardest thing I have to deal with is the attitude and comments from other women. I’ve never faced such hostility or discrimination from men as I have from women. I really struggle with how to answer the intrusive comments. Do you have any advice as to how to deal with this?
Lisa
Oh Angela, it’s so hard isn’t it? People can be so insensitive and judgemental too. I think there needs to be more conversations and openness about being childfree.
Up until last year, I said nothing to all the questions and comments that I got (on a weekly basis). I’d shy away from them because I didn’t want to offend anyone, or admit that I wanted a different lifestyle to theirs.
I think that’s the issue too, I think some people are asking these questions because they want to find connections/similarities. Some are just downright nosy.
It’s sad to say but I’ve had similar experiences. I’ve only had one or two comments from a male (family member), but the rest have all been from women/mothers. I don’t understand why they think it’s ok to ask such personal questions, and make judgements about my lifestyle.
Personally, I just got so tired of the questions, it was draining. It got to the point where I was protecting everyone else’s feelings and ignoring my own.
Over the past few years I’ve had some family/personal health issues and things just fell into place/I got some perspective. I felt strong enough to tell people my truth, and try to bust a few childfree myths too (I’m not career focused, planning on travelling, nor do I hate children). Once I started talking about it, people began to shut up. Eventually, I got more confidence so when random strangers asked me whilst walking my dog (jeez) I felt fine saying “no, I don’t have children”.
Sorry if I’m rambling, or not making sense. I just think it’s best to focus on ‘you’ rather than ‘them’. If it’s too upsetting for you to be real with these people (whether family/friends/strangers) then tell them frankly that you’d prefer not to discuss it. No apologies. If you can, then talk about it, some people might surprise you. Sending love your way Xxx
Angela
Thank you for your reply and being so open about this. I know a lot of people just don’t realise the impact of their questions but some do and I find that difficult to deal with. I’ve seen some conversations on Instagram recently about being childfree and really hope it opens up more dialogue. Thanks again for taking the time to talk about your experience, it all helps.xx